In my youth I pressed to explore the psyche of myself and those around me. Of course this by default forced me to question many world religions, psychology practices, and philosophies. Through my personal search to find a philosophy that did not oppress one mentally or sexually, I found BDSM a mind-changing and training catapult into the deepest, darkest caverns of the human soul. I quickly came to realize the attributes of BDSM as a visionary quest into boundaries unseen, feared and unknown. In facing these beautiful mind-altering truths, I found the key to self-knowledge. In this way, one is pushed to one’s limits and beyond the lies which society has fed into the essence of what has become our dissonance, which can then bring light to the dark chasm of learned disharmony. By unlearning the rights and wrongs of a world not our own, we can then bring about a balance within ourselves which we are usually unable to attain given so many inhibitions. In experiencing the variety of sensations the human body can truly tolerate, we are then capable of mental beauty otherwise denied us due to religion, government, and other peoples’ value systems. By seeing what lies in the darkest heart of us, we become enlightened to its counterbalance of euphoric beauty.

An initiation into shamanic healing means a devaluation of all values, an overturning of the profane world, a peeling away of inveterate handed-down notions of the world, liberation from everything preconceived. For that reason, shamanism is closely connected with suffering. One must suffer the disintegration of one’s own system of thought in order to perceive a new world in the higher space.

~ *Shaman Kalweit*

Whether it’s a spiritual journey of self enlightenment or a psychological quest for understanding I undertake each scene with the commitment to each individual goal. There are many approaches to BDSM and I realized long ago that the only differences are typically terminology. I do not tend to get hung up on semantics as to Me psychology and spirituality are synonymous. One person may indulge the sensuality of a scene while another may focus on the intellectual intrigues. I see no difference as one may lead to the other and usually does, even if only subconsciously. With a background in body arts/modification, spirituality, psychology, theater, literature and physical exploration each of these concepts merge into a immensely gratifying and explorative BDSM world for Me. One scene may be playful while the next extremely insightful, depending on the submissive and the needs, desires and goals of that scene.

There are a lot of misguided people who fear the idea of BDSM. People fear the unknown and that which they cannot understand because anything foreign to their up bringing is seen as wrong and unnatural. People fear that which they innately are: balanced. Instead, they choose to live in denial and repress all their tendencies for rough sex or stinky feet. These things build within people and are then manifested in their daily lives. Through exploration of the mind and body we can become more balanced and in tune with our natural state of being, which is a state of light and dark with many shadows between.

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