Fetish, Fetich, Fetis

I've come to realize recently that many people have one perception of what Domination is and a completely separate one of what fetishes are. Somehow they distinguish a difference between the two as if they are not connected in some way. I suppose the big question is: What is a fetish and how does it fit into the BDSM lifestyle?

A fetish, strictly speaking, is an object, act or nonsexual body part that causes arousal and may become necessary for sexual release. Fetishes are varied and plentiful to choose from. There are some who fetishize hair, feet, clothing, shoes, dirt, hands, body odors or even body fluids.

Urinating on someone is a very common fetish. During a quite enjoyable and playful interaction last week I decided to reward My pet with a golden shower. Afterwards, I was told that it was an impressively long shower and that he had never fantasized about such a thing until the days following the event. Fetishes can be created, they do not always relate to events from the past. Sometimes over the years one can form an interest or fixation on something specific and it becomes a fetish for that individual.

While growing up most of us hear our friends tell stories of what they've been experiencing as they explore their sexuality. Dirty story telling is probably the most well-known fetish. Listening to friends talk about their sexual adventures, hearing a partner whisper what they'd like to do to you, even calling a professional phone sex operator to tell them your fantasies is something most everyone is familiar with. After all, what could be better than hearing someone tell you all the things they enjoy about being with you or things that they would like to do someday? Dirty talk is just another form of intimacy that some people may not even realize as such. Even if the story doesn't include you, familiarity with a partners interests can breed a more intense closeness.

After exploring fetishes one still might question how it fits into the BDSM lifestyle. Imagine a leather clad woman with beautifully pedicured feet gracefully flogging someone while in 5 inch heels. With each throw of the flogger you can see her long elegant fingers manipulating the handle and her hair shimmer and bounce with each movement. Who wouldn't develop a fetish for such a stunning display? Maybe fetishes and BDSM are not indelibly intertwined in every scene. But the majority of people interested in one will at least dabble in the other. I've always enjoyed whipping someone with such intensity it leaves them bruises or more, only to have them show sincere appreciation by kissing and massaging my feet. There is definitely something to be said for the individual who notices the nuances of a woman's strength and power with such reverence.

BDSM is quite taboo to many people while fetishes can often be overlooked. If your partner enjoys smelling your hair or kissing your fingers while having sex (both considered fetishes) than you most likely would appreciate the act. Maybe the misconception of separating fetishes from being a facet of BDSM is in the fact that some fetishes can be so common that people take them for granted.

So the next time when your lover wants to suck on your toes while having sex, instead of becoming apprehensive, maybe you'll consider that they are just appreciating another aspect of who you are.